The Aristos

Eyes half shut
wide awake
looking up to the sky
down below
on fallen wings
where shadows sing
just another game
moving round
the caracal
music rewinds
and plays again
it must be some sort of sign
something half-divine
while meaning nothing
but the sum
of the earth and the sky
beneath the shadows of the sun
where all souls go to die
but the end has just begun
where the beginning
is no more
another lasting breath
of smoke and mirrors
to play upon the walls
invisible dances
in these dusky halls
what do reflections matter
when they disappear
into gray marble
and the shimmering lake

There is something I cannot grasp
I would say that it bites
but it is too dull for that
my head likes to spin upon its axis
while I wonder
at the dullness
that settles in
like dust
and old shoes
fading light
where I cannot see
I would make myself faint
but never could I be the one
who does that
Never liked the taste of the drama queen
but there is an attracting to living
in a world outside of my own
I wander upon the edge
I envy those who have a story to tell
there is no understading
the breathing monster
in me
I don’t try to be understood
only to watch
like a frog
in a pond
flowing
in and out of time
it is easy to do
when you find the right thread
and just being to pull it away
like peeling off skin
untill the blood makes you
realize what you have done
but then there is only laughter
solid soiled laughter
this is where we live
this is what we are
dancing in gutter pipes
cut myself on rusted glass
just becasue I can.

All in a rush it hits at once
there is no more hiding
where are there words
they fail the most
when you are endlessly trying

All in a rush it hits at once
no longer can you try and pretend
once when you thought you had made amends
I know these words are crap

What do they mean
nothing real just empty blubbering
what is thier purpose
to speak,
when you try and discover some truth
you hold back right when you have reached the peak

No breaking free
no reveal
locked inside yourself
what do you feel

Falling away
it begins to peel
like skin
now that it comes
you still fool yourself and wonder
which is true
and which is false

Is it all just a game
are you real
or made of parts
hewn and shaped
but by your own construction
how many fake emotions
have you molded from the clay

Yet what do you know
of your own feelings
hiding away
it was like a joke
but now
it might be bithed
into something more

But maybe this is the stage
are you seeking something
for yourself in this very moment
do you stand

Have you been made a fool
and so played the part of the fool
fooled others inadverntently
your deception was not intended
but was it to quickly made

What now is the purpose of this
but to hear yourself
speaking into the air
to be something more

Give it up
and chocke it down
is it yourself that you fool

Always the gray eyes watching
I feely them burn into my back
I cannot escape a distant glare

I wonder where they go
and where they come from
peering inside my soul

There is no escape upon this plain
or the next one and the next
just this feeling which prevades

Knowing they are glowing
or glowering, shadows
can see

There is no blindness
when the sun reccedes
beneath the sky
into Nut’s whomb

Swalloing it whole
as it truns the cycle
death and rebirth
with the constant change

Can I live with this pain
I have no choice

I have decided to remain
even the hope
can be tainted

While wating in the dark
I want to dig it out
my heart

Might it stop
but than I am still here
waiting for a chance
that is like a dream
a nightmere
a scream

I cannot breath
I need you here
and now

to tell me how

yet I know I am alone
just at this time
when I would like to put my head
within the noose

But I resit
I insist

Save me
save me

I am falling
fallen
felled

Slayed
and slain

No more of this
but my head begins
to pound

How I have lept into this
I have been left to think
to refelct

My very soul
it yearns
and it burns
and it twists
tormented

So I am
so I stand
but I want it to stop

There is only this
a distant pulse
I am it

Beanth the sky
into the sea
plunge me down

I free me
and breath once more
maybe
it will suffice

To put these feelings on ice
submered back into myself
but for a moment
I was taken.

If it were up to me
I would pluck out your eyes
boil you in a stew

Dance around and chant
with your heart in my hand.

Put a collar around your neck
and a leash to lead you
make you kneel
and beg
than you would repent

If I could, I would skin you alive
hang you by your feet
and watch you crucify

Perhaps I am being unresonable
but than isn’t that what you exepct
by the very words from your mouth.

You know I would hate to dissapoint
so I will live up to the standard
I shall spare nothing

You will be my puppet,
I will gut you out
than stich you back up

Make you dance a jig
or a poka

Than you might be sorry